No Greater Love
by Kimmydonn
Summary: What would you be willing to give up for the love of your son? How much would you be willing to endure? Bella is about to find out. Love Lost Entry
1. Chapter 1

This is based on a true story by myself and Lilacs46.

Big thank yous to ruthperk and detochkina for their help on polishing this piece.

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Summary:** What would you be willing to give up for the love of your son? How much would you be willing to endure? Bella is about to find out.

**No Greater Love**

Quiet tears moistened Bella's cheeks as she sat up in her bed, listening to the slow, steady breathing of her husband, Edward, who lay in peaceful slumber beside her. Her eyes never left his face as they traced each feature, committing them to her memory.

_If only I wouldn't have been so naïve. I should have known better than to trust him._ Bella thought, wiping the tears from her face.

Bella wasn't thinking about the man lying beside her. Edward had always been loving and kind to her. She had often wondered if he could read her mind, since he was always so attuned to her needs. Not only had Edward voiced his love for Bella, he had also expressed his feelings for her in other ways. After a long, hard day at work, Bella would come home and plop down on the sofa, resting her feet on Edward's lap, and he would massage them. If Bella made dinner, Edward cleared the table and washed the dishes after they ate. When Bella complained that the things she wanted in life were unattainable, Edward would tell her that nothing was impossible, encouraging her to follow her dreams.

The love making between them was like nothing Bella had ever experienced before. She would miss the way his hands felt as they caressed her skin, the way he always kissed her eyelids when he thought she had fallen asleep. In Edward, she had found the missing piece to the puzzle of her life. They were the perfect fit. Bella didn't want to give that up, but she had no other choice if she wanted to get her son, Seth, back.

Grabbing a tissue from the box on her nightstand, Bella's mind drifted back to four and a half years ago.

"_I won't be able to give you any money for the next three months," Felix had stated matter-of-factly, after arriving at her house unannounced. _

Bella remembered the feelings as her heart had dropped into her stomach. Just when she had begun to feel a bit of stability in her life, her ex-husband Felix, even then, had to show up at her house and drop this bombshell on her.

"_What! Why not?"_

"_I'm going back to Mexico, to visit my family. You know I haven't seen them in three years."_

"_And you know that I can't afford to pay for Seth's day-care without the money you give me. Listen, I only have to work for six more months before I can take my vacation time, and then I'll be able to watch him instead of putting him in day-care. Can't you at least put off going until then, please?" Bella had pleaded in desperation. She had barely been able to afford groceries, rent, and utilities, working as a cashier at the local dry-cleaners._

"_No, I can't. I've already asked for time off from work. If I don't go now, my boss won't let me take off from work again until next year." Bella had known that was a lie, Felix had been Demetri's favorite employee. Demetri had even accompanied Felix to Mexico in the past. _

"_I have a suggestion," Felix had offered in a softer tone. "You know how much my mother and father have begged us to bring Seth to meet them. Why don't you let me take him with me? That way you won't have to worry about paying for day-care until we get back."_

Why had she believed him?

Three days later, Bella had kissed her son good-bye. Three months after that, her heart was wrenched out of her chest when Felix arrived back from Mexico without her son. He had left Seth back in Mexico, under the watchful eyes of his parents. Felix didn't even have the courage to tell her to her face. Instead, he had taken the coward's way out, and told her over the telephone what he had done. His actions had not been without forethought. Bella had taken the one thing that he had wanted most in life, herself. In return, he took what she loved the most, her son.

For weeks, Bella had berated herself for having believed Felix. She went about her days, mindlessly going through the motions of life. Her nights were spent sobbing into her pillow, until she cried herself to sleep. But she wasn't truly living. How could she? Her entire life had revolved around her son. Bella missed the sound of Seth's laughter permeating through the house, the scent of his skin when she had kissed him good-night.

With a small snort, Edward tossed in his sleep. Bella fought the tears that the memories brought. She couldn't let her sight be clouded now, not the way they had been the day shedrove to her mother's house...

_Her mother met her at the door when she arrived. Seeing the state that her daughter was in, Renee opened her arms, closing them around Bella's form when she collapsed against her chest._

"_Momma, I miss him so much," Bella hiccupped through broken sobs._

"_I know, baby." Renee tightened her hold on her daughter, wanting to console her. _

"_Hmmm." Renee released her hold on Bella and moved to get the phone book. She searched through its pages looking for a number before dialing it._

"_Who are you calling?" Bella inquired, sucking back her tears._

"_I'm calling our state Congressman, Bill Cooley."_

"_Do you think he can help?"_

"_I don't know, but we're about to find out."_

Unfortunately, as the congressman had informed her, short of going to Mexico and stealing her son back, there was nothing to be done. Since neither Bella nor Felix had filed for custody of their son, Felix had just as many rights to have Seth with him as she did.

Six months passed before Bella was presented with an opportunity to try and retrieve her son. Her friend Carmen, and her husband, were going to Mexico to visit his parents. Bella couldn't pass up the chance to be in the same country as her son, to be within miles of him. She begged them to agree to let her join them. She had cajoled Eleazar, Carmen's husband to help steal her son.

Bella wasn't crazy; she knew a white lady, like herself or Carmen, would be noticed in the streets of Cheran, where Felix's mother ran a stall, but Eleazar would not. Bella couldn't convince him to do it, but she won over Carmen; and Carmen won over her husband. Despite the warning of his friends and co-workers, most impressive on him were those of his fellow ex-patriots. They warned that he was stepping into the middle of a political maelstrom, one that could end with worse than police on his heels.

Eleazar had been hesitant at first, but eventually agreed.

_Bella's eyes were opened in Mexico. It was like stepping into another world, where the houses were bright, but the sights daunting. Where the dying man in the street could be someone in need of help, or someone waiting to pick your pocket. The terrain began flat, giving Bella an open view, but turned to rolling hills and eventually mountains as they approached Jalpan, Eleazar's hometown._

_They arrived late in the evening, when all of the lights in Eleazar's parent's house had been turned off. Eleazar led the women to a house he kept across the street, leaving them to turn in for the night._

_Bella was woken by Eleazar and Carmen's raised voices. _

"_I'm telling you, they are going to come after us. If you want to get out of here alive, go now." Eleazar shouted in rushed Spanish. Bella wasn't sure, in her groggy state that she'd translated correctly._

"_You promised to try, just try. We understand that-" Carmen was answering in English, but Eleazar, in desperation, reverted to his native tongue._

"_No! I'm warning them. They will be watching you, coming for you. I'm going to tell them why you are here, who you are after. __If you're still here when I come back, I can't be held responsible for what they do to you and Bella. Get out of here!" The door slammed behind him._

_Bella was sure she hadn't heard that right, but Carmen was already throwing articles of clothing into bags and shouting at her._

_"Bella, get up! We have to leave, now!"_

_"What? Why? Where's Eleazar going?" Bella shook with fear and anxiety._

_"He's getting the cops. I've never seen him like that. He was _not_ bluffing. We have to go." Carmen began helping Bella pack her things._

_When everything was packed, Bella grabbed her hands, stopping her from picking up her bag. "Please. Let me stay. I'll hide. I'll try to convince Eleazar not to turn me in. I can't leave without seeing him, Carmen. He's only twenty miles away!"_

_"Are you crazy, Bella? If we were back in the United States, I'd say, fine, stay. But this is Mexico! I don't know what they do to kidnappers here, but I don't want to find out. Do you?"_

_It had physically hurt Bella to leave without her son, but Carmen had been right. She trusted her friend to know her husband. And if someone did kill or arrest her, Seth would have been even worse off; he would no longer have a mother. At least with Felix's family, Bella knew that Seth was safe._

**_Carmen had kept Bella in a state of panic and the two of them hurried to catch the next bus headed back to the border. _**

**_After experiencing the fear of her potential death, Brownsville, Texas, had never looked so good. God, she wished she had been able to bring her son with her. Even so, she had kissed the ground in gratitude to be back in the United States._**

**Being home again had been made sweeter when she met the man now lying next to her. Time had only blurred the edges of her grief. Edward's love, although stronger than any she had ever known, hadn't been able to erase it entirely. She had no way of knowing then that Felix would one day make her choose between Edward and her son. Or that Felix would make himself part of the bargain, requiring her to leave her husband and return to him before he would bring Seth back from Mexico.**

**Bella glanced over at the clock on her bedside nightstand.****_ Impossible_****, she thought. How could the night have passed by so quickly? Thinking her tears had caused her to read the numbers wrong, she wiped them from her eyes and looked back at the clock. It was five AM. Sleep had evaded her all night. Not that she had wanted to sleep. Edward would wake soon. Leaning over, she gently pressed her lips against her husband's before getting out of bed and making her way into the kitchen. **

**As she stood in front of the stove making Edward's favorite breakfast, her mind conjured up images of a prisoner on death row, eating his favorite last meal, only it was her who was being led to her death. Because to her, the knowledge that she would soon have to leave her husband made her feel like she was dying. Her heart ached to the point that she thought it would split in two, and she felt as if the air had been sucked from her lungs; she found it difficult to breath. If leaving Edward didn't kill her, moving in to her sister's basement apartment with her ex-husband, Felix, would. **

**"****Good morning," Edward said. Wrapping his arms around Bella's waist he dipped his head and kissed the hollow of her neck. "Mmm, that smells good. Are we having guests for breakfast?" Edward asked, noticing the variety of different foods.**

"No, no company. I just wanted to make you all of your favorites. You deserve it." Bella swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat, and she willed back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She wanted to scream "To hell with Felix" and cling to Edward like a dying woman clinging to a life raft. He was who she wanted, who made her happy. But Bella wasn't the only one whose happiness was at stake. There was someone else more important she had to think about. _Why, Lord? What sins have I committed, that you would punish me this way?_

Bella placed Edward's plate on the table and then she sat down in the seat beside him. Edward noticed that she hadn't fixed a plate of food for herself. Edward's expression showed his concern.

"You're not eating?" he asked. Bella always ate breakfast with her husband.

Bella shook her head. "I'm not hungry." It was the truth. That fact that Bella would be leaving Edward within the next hour to go back a man that she loathed, made Bella's stomach churn. She knew if she ate anything, she wouldn't be able to keep it down.

Even though she had tried to fight them back, a single tear escaped Bella's eye and spilled down her cheek. Again, Edward noticed.

"Bella, sweetheart, if your stomach hurts bad enough to make you cry, maybe you should go see the doctor?"

"I'll be fine," she lied._ If I can just make it until he leaves for work._ Then she would allow herself to break down.

Once he had... she did. After giving Edward his last good-bye kiss, Bella shut the door behind him and made her way to the bedroom. She drew back the curtains and watched as he walked to his car, waiting until he had closed the door before she collapsed into a crumpled heap on the bed. Great heaving sobs of gut-wrenching heartbreak wracked Bella's body. She wondered if she would actually be able to walk out the front door, knowing that she would never be able to return. Edward hadn't even been gone from the house for fifteen minutes yet and she felt as if she were already dying. How would she survive, knowing she would never be able to see him again?

"Bella?" Bella quickly sucked back her tears when she heard her sister, Rosalie's voice.

"Bella, where are you at?"

"In here, Rose. I'm in my room."

When Rosalie walked into Bella's room at caught site of her sister's red, swollen eyes, she felt a mixture of pity and confusion. Pity because, even though she and her sister had never really gotten along that well, she still loved her and she hated seeing her unhappy. Rosalie was confused because, even if it was for her son's sake, she couldn't understand how Bella could leave Edward to go back with Felix, when she clearly loved him more than life itself.

"Are you really sure this is what you want to do?" Rose asked.

"No, this isn't what I want to do. It's what I have to do. This may be the only way I'll ever be able to see my son while he's still young enough to want to get to know me." Bella didn't tell Rose what else she had been thinking. It wasn't as if Bella agreed to her ex-husband's terms without weighing the consequences. Believe it or not, going back to Felix in order to get Seth back wasn't the worst thing she could have done. The worst thing would have been turning Felix down and having Seth turn up on her doorstep in the future, asking her why she didn't do everything within her power to get him back.

"I understand. Do you still need to pack your clothes?'

Bella shook her head. "No, I took care of that yesterday morning. I hid my suitcases under the bed."

"Well, all right, then. I guess we should go."

Bella bent down and pulled the two suitcases out from under her bed. "Do you mind taking one of those to the car for me? I want to make sure I didn't forget anything."

"Sure," Rose obliged, grabbing one of the suitcases and carrying it out to the car.

Bella hadn't really forgotten anything; she just didn't want her sister to see what she was getting ready to do. Opening the lid of the clothes hamper, Bella reached in and grabbed one of Edward's dirty shirts, stuffing it into her luggage before making her way into the living room to write a note for Edward. Bella knew that, like her ex-husband before her, she was taking the coward's way out. Edward deserved better than a "Dear John" letter, but she also knew in her heart that he would try to talk her out of leaving if she told him to his face. Because of the love she felt for him, she was afraid that she would let him. She couldn't afford to take the chance.

After placing the note on coffee table, Bella stood in the doorway and took what she knew would be her last glance around the room. Once Edward read her correspondence, there would be no going back. Although she knew Edward loved her, Bella was sure that he would never be able to forgive her for leaving him to go back with Felix. Even if it was for he son. "I'll always love you, Edward," she whispered into the deserted house before pulling the door shut behind her.

Bella sat next toRosalie at the gate her son should be coming through in the next hour. On the one hand, Bella was thrilled to have an entire hour to prepare to face Felix again. On the other, she wished she hadn't come quite so early, waiting to see Seth was killing her. She bit at her nails, dreading the coming meeting. What would Seth look like? He was so little when Felix had taken him. Would he remember her? Would she recognize him?

Then there were the thoughts of Felix. Would he try anything in the airport? Would he at least give her the chance to greet her son before planting hands or lips on her?

"Bella," Rosalie whispered after thirty of the sixty minutes of purgatory had passed. If only her time would end in a trip to heaven instead of hell. Bella's blond sister nodded in the direction of a buxom brunette that had just taken a seat at the same gate they were waiting. "Is that who I think that is?"

It was, if Rosalie thought it was Gianna, Felix' wife.

"What is that bitch doing here?" Bella's voice was just short of a screech. Surely Felix had broken things off with her. He wouldn't have made her give up Edward if he was planning on staying with her, would he? Bella didn't want her anywhere near Seth. The woman was a public bus, everyone welcome to ride. Who knew what diseases she carried?

Bella's stomach twisted. What diseases did Felix carry? She shook her head. She couldn't worry about that now. "Now" was for Seth. He was only twenty minutes away and would be coming through that door on his father's arm. She would endure anything; treat any... consequences, to have him back. Obviously, crabs or herpes were nothing compared to leaving Edward. They were a fly buzzing where the wasp had already stung. She swatted the fly of a thought away, putting Gianna, other creepy crawly things, and even Edward out of her mind while waiting for Seth.

Rosalie crossed and uncrossed her legs, got up for coffee, bought a magazine. She didn't understand why Bella would come so early. It wasn't like being here an hour early would make the plane come faster. She wanted to be here for her sister, but had such a hard time understanding what the big deal was. She'd been moping since she moved in. She'd made her choice, time to suck it up and live with it.

Then Rose kicked herself. A good sister didn't think those things. Bella was always there for her when she needed it. She could give up an hour of her life for her sister. She put her arm around Bella's shoulders and squeezed lightly.

"Almost time," Rose murmured to Bella. The flight was due to land in five minutes.

"Yeah," Bella squeaked, a bundle of nerves.

Gianna started pacing. She saw Felix' ex sitting in the terminal; that was hardly surprising, he was bringing back her son, after all. He had been so aloof when he left. Something was up; she was afraid she knew what. She had been dropped enough times to read the signs. Still, it wouldn't be today. He'd wait for one more romp before finding the door.

Bella rose when people began coming through the gates. Gianna, thanks to her pacing, was closer. She saw the pair of Latino faces before Bella, running up to kiss Felix and greet Seth. Bella seethed. _How dare she? My son!_

Gianna knelt to greet the small young man beside her burly Felix. Seth was around four feet, just the age to start school. His black hair was licking up in various directions and she smoothed it as she introduced herself in Spanish.

Seth smiled back at her, a little more comfortable when her first words were in the only language he knew. He smiled, white teeth through brown-pink lips, and looked up to his father for his reaction. He shook his head slightly. "_This is not your mother. I will introduce you to her,_" he told his son.

Gianna's smile slipped only slightly, and she held Felix' hand as he led Seth to Bella.

Bella felt tears on her cheeks after the anger had faded. Gianna might have gotten to him first, but he was her son. She did know him. He was so different, so much bigger, but his eyes were the same deep, dark brown, thick beautiful lashes curling around them. His nose was the same, the same as her father's. This was her son. He was here, and she would endure anything to get keep him.

Bella held her breath, and Rose's hand, as Felix and Seth approached. She spared no thought for the man she hated, only the son she loved. She crouched, as Gianna had.

"Seth?" she asked.

He backed away slightly and Bella felt her heart break. "_Don't be afraid. I love you very much._" Bella held her hands a little in front of her, but didn't stretch them the way she wanted to. She wanted so badly to take her son in her arms, but if he was afraid, that was the worst thing she could do.

Slowly, wretchedly slowly, Seth put one of his small hands in hers. "_Mama._"

Bella took a deep shuddering breath. "_I have missed you so much._"

"Gianna," Felix told his wife. "I'm going to take Seth and his things home with Rosalie and Bella."

Gianna nodded, not completely understanding. She had thought Seth would be coming home with them. But she did understand that the boy was not yet comfortable alone with Bella and Rosalie. He probably wouldn't be comfortable alone with her either.

"I'll see you at home then," she said, kissing Felix's cheek. "_It was a pleasure to meet you, Seth._" She turned to leave the airport, that feeling of doom still hanging over her.

Bella and Rosalie accompanied Felix and Seth to the baggage carousel. Felix only had a duffel bag, but Seth had two bags, comprising all of his possessions. Bella carried one while Rosalie took the other. Bella offered her hand to her son as they left the airport. He was reluctant again but took it, more afraid of getting lost.

He sat beside Bella on the drive home where she talked to him continuously in Spanish, asking him about his friends and grandparents, trying to get to know her son again. He warmed as he realized that she was not going to require him to speak in English and began to tell his stories with more enthusiasm and flourish.

Seth was introduced to his cousins, Riley and Bree. The boy was slightly older than he was and the girl much younger, a toddler. Seth moved in with Riley for the time being, while Bella and Felix were set up to share the basement apartment Bella had already moved into.

"I'll just go get the rest of my things. It's okay if I borrow your car, Rose?" Felix asked.

"Uh, sure." Rosalie gave him the keys. "Gianna?" She asked, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah. I might be a little while."

Bella and Rosalie shared a look, unable to believe how callous the man could be. It was obviously when she appeared at the airport that he had told her nothing about his leaving. And now he would simply pack his things and move in with Bella.

"What an ass," Bella muttered. She shook it off and went to see how Riley and Seth were getting along.

Felix took his time getting ready for bed. Bella had changed quickly and dived under the covers. Payment for the return of her son was about to continue. She curled herself into a ball dreading what she was sure was coming next.

"Bella?" Felix asked, pulling her shoulder to roll her onto her back. "Are you taking me back or not?" His heavy, hot lips landed on hers and she fought the urge to beat him with her fists. She turned her mind to her son, sleeping with his cousin on the floor above. She could do this. She didn't kiss him back, but relaxed her lips.

"Yes, that's my girl." His hand found her breast, sliding under her nightshirt. Bella's stomach turned as his calloused palm groped her roughly, the exact opposite of what Edward would have done. He was always gentle; always made sure she was pleased with his touch. Felix just grabbed, seeking his own pleasure.

She coughed on bile when he kicked her legs apart. No amount of mental preparation would be enough. His hand pulled her shorts and panties down roughly. His lips found hers again, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth. She moaned against his mouth, in disgust, but he misinterpreted and climbed over her, lining himself up.

She wasn't even damp, the ass. It hurt when he pushed himself into her and she fought nausea again, sinking her teeth into his shoulder. She wished it would hurt him, the way he was hurting her. It didn't; it encouraged him.

"Yeah, Bella. You are so much better than I remembered."

She gagged again. The thought that he got off on this, that he thought she was getting off made her sick to her stomach. She squeezed her Kegels, willing him to come quickly and leave her be. Tears stained her cheeks from pain, both physical and mental. She would make a note to lube herself in future; she would never get wet for this cretin. She had given up Edward for this?

Seth came back to her mind. No, she gave up Edward for him. She prayed it hadn't been a mistake. She was doing this for her son.

"So tight," he groaned, thrusting in and out again. Bella met his face with a grimace on hers. "Yeah, come for me, baby."

How messed up was he? She wasn't turned on. Maybe she could encourage him further, get him to let her go. She grunted a few times, pretending to pant. It worked. She felt tears well up in her eyes as he pumped his seed into her.

"Not bad. We'll get to know each other all over again, won't we?" Felix ran a hand over her cheek and Bella rolled from the bed. "Where are you going?" he asked angrily.

"To clean myself up," she snapped back.

If only that had been the only night she'd had to pay, the only time he'd touched her. But no, the sex didn't stop there, it got worse. Once they moved into his place, away from Rose and Emmett, he seemed to expect her to come loudly for him. She screamed alright - his name, ripping her throat raw, filled with hate.

He pinned her face down on the bed, thrusting into her. "Yeah, louder." He slapped her bare ass, increasing his speed. "You can come louder than that."

"Seth," she whispered, not wanting to wake her son.

"He sleeps like the dead. Come," he demanded, pinching her nipple hard.

"Felix," she cried through clenched teeth, angry tears streaming down her face. If he woke Seth... she didn't finish the thought as his ejaculation inside her brought the need to vomit.

She ripped herself from his grip and ran to the bathroom. She spat several times in the toilet, managing to avoid losing her lunch completely. He followed her.

"Why are you in such a hurry to clean up?"

"Because bladder infections are painful," she snapped.

"You would know," he said with a smirk. He watched as she wiped the creamy residue from between her thighs; she wanted nothing more than to shove him out the door.

"Look at that," he murmured, reaching to touch her. Her stomach turned again as his fingers brushed her exposed lips. She'd accepted his penis there, his fingers was too intimate. She started to shift, but he caught her leg. "What's your hurry? I think I might like to go again."

Her eyes widened in fear. How long would it take to get him off again? She would feel rubbed raw by the time he was finished. She whimpered.

He let her go. "Well, if you don't want to, just say so." He turned and left the room.

Bella stood, dumbstruck. It had been a month, but could it be that easy? Had it been long enough that she could just tell him she wasn't in the mood? She felt almost giddy at the prospect. She finished cleaning and went back to bed, turning away from Felix. His arm wrapped around her, but didn't grope. She could handle this.

"Nope," he muttered, pressing his erection into her back and raising bile in her throat again. "You're just too sexy. Come on, you're still all slick and hot, aren't you?" His fingers reached around her.

Bella lost it. It was one too many nights, one too many fucks. She reached between her legs and grabbed a hold of his scrotum and testes. She pulled and squeezed the package in her fist, grinding her teeth.

"Shiiiiiiiit!" Felix screamed, gripping her wrist around her hip. "Alright, not tonight. Let go, you fucking bitch." As soon as she released him, he turned over with huff and pulled the covers up.

Felix had come home drunk, again. Bella had been hanging by a thread since the night he had tried to double dip. This snapped it.

"How dare you come home to our son like this?"

"Like what?" he asked, slurring.

"Drunk off your ass! Can you even walk?" Bella's blood was boiling and she was done with this crap. She was putting up with this for her son; it was for nothing if Felix wasn't going to be a father.

"I'll show you what I can do, bitch." He lumbered up and swung at Bella, connecting with her face. It was badly aimed and didn't have his full power behind it, but he was such a large man that it still sent her sprawling. He stumbled toward where she had landed.

Bella jumped to her feet and ran to her room where Seth lay sleeping in the middle of the bed. She slammed the door behind her, holding the handle and pushing her back against it. This was too much. She could pretend this was a marriage, but she wasn't about to let him actually beat her.

"Bella!" Felix pounded on the door. "Get your ass back out here. We aren't done yet." His words slurred less with each sentence. Bella shut her eyes and held on.

"Mama?" Seth asked from the bed.

"Oh, Seth," she gasped, letting go of the handle and stepping toward him.

Felix ripped open the door, sending it flying into the wall. His shoulder was dropped where he had shoved against the barrier.

Bella whirled in her rage. She wrapped her small arms around his neck. Months of carrying her two-year old niece meant that the wiry muscles she sported were not insignificant. She tightened her hold enough to drop one arm and punch the monster in the temple.

"Fuck! Get off!"

"Mama!" Seth screamed.

"Never!" She hit him again. "Never touch me again!" One more punch and she let go of him, running to Seth. She curled behind her small son, sobbing. "I'm sorry, Seth. I'm so sorry." She would never apologize to Felix, but she would give anything for her son not to have seen that.

Felix came to the other side of the bed and lay down. He grumbled loudly, but didn't try to move Seth or reach for Bella. Bella stayed curled with her son, holding him to her, apologizing to him in whispers.

Seth and Felix both managed to fall asleep, but Bella's brain and stomach wouldn't stop churning, neither one. She needed to get out–this couldn't go on. She had done this for her son, but they both deserved so much more. She couldn't let Felix hurt either one of them.

After Felix left for work in the morning, Bella applied makeup over the bruise on her cheek. She packed hers and Seth's things into the same two bags he'd brought with him from Mexico. She didn't need much for herself. A quick call to her friend Alice in Maryland and she had a destination.

Now all she needed was a ride out of there.

Picking up the phone, she dialed her sister's number. "Rosalie, I need a lift to the bus depot."

"Bella? Where are you going?" she asked, curious more than concerned. "I don't have room for all three of you in my car with the kids."

"No, just Seth and I."

"Oh," she said, understanding at last. "I'll be there in ten."

Bella sat beside Rosalie as she drove her to freedom. "Why did you do it?" Rosalie asked as they pulled into a parking space.

"What?"

"Why did you leave Edward if you were going to leave Felix anyway? He came looking for you. You must know that. I _lied_ for you. Why?"

First surprise and then confusion creased Bella's forehead. How could her sister not understand? "Because I had to. From the moment Seth was placed in my arms, on the day he was born, I felt this unbreakable bond. I saw my life in his eyes; I needed to see his life with my eyes. It was love at first sight - stronger than my love for Edward. When Felix took him away from me, he took part of me with him."

Bella gave Rose a more serious look. "I love Edward with my whole heart, mind and soul. I believe I always will. I hope that he can find it in his heart to forgive me for what I've done, but if he doesn't, I can live with that. The one thing I wouldn't have been able to live with, is Seth hating me for not doing everything within my power to get him back."

"Why didn't you just tell him?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh, Edward, I'm going to sleep with Felix so I can get my son back. Yeah, Rose, that's likely. How was I supposed to tell him? What _could_ I tell him?"

Rosalie just shook her head. _Make your bed and lie in it,_ she thought. She also thought that if Edward ever came looking for Bella gain, she would tell him exactly where and why Bella had gone.

Once calm, Bella leaned in and kissed Rose on the cheek. "I'll call when I get there so you know we made it. Tell Mom so she won't worry." She hugged her sister. "Thanks for everything."

"Take care of yourself, Bella. You, too, Seth," she smiled at the boy who was just unbuckling himself.

"We will. We're going to be okay, together." Bella ran her hand through Seth's hair before picking up both bags. "Come on, Seth. We have a bus to catch."

Bella wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, but there was no greater love than that which she had for her son. As long as she could see the light in Seth's eyes, hear the laughter in his voice, nothing would keep her from fighting to give him the life that he deserved.


	2. Requited Love

Happy Birthday to Lilacs46! Here is a happy ending for the Bella we wrote together. Thanks to LittleLea05 for pre-reading and Ruthperk for her beta help.

* * *

Doing a double take, Edward turned completely around and followed the woman he thought he recognized. He was supposed to be doing his Christmas shopping, but he was _sure_ that had been Bella - a twenty year older Bella, but still Bella. He saw her open a door and step through it. Rather than follow into the shop, he looked through the glass as she picked out her purchase. It _had_ to be her. There were threads of gray in her hair, and lines at the corners of her eyes and mouth, but those brown eyes and the curl to the hair were the same as he remembered.

He was still standing next to the door when she emerged.

"Bella?" he asked.

She turned at her name and gasped. "Edward?"

Good, he hadn't changed too much then.

"It is so good to see you." He took her hand and pulled her to the side, out of the traffic moving on the sidewalk. "I thought I'd never see you again."

He regretted the words instantly as tears sprang to her eyes. He had to amend somehow. "I mean, I wanted to, but it seemed you needed to go. I didn't... You can always... God, Bella, it really is amazing to run into you."

She sniffed quickly, dabbing her eyes and nose. "It's good to see you, Edward. I never dreamed I'd see you again."

"Do you have time? Would you like to get a coffee?" Gifts for the girls could wait. This was a better present than he could have hoped for.

"Um... okay." Tentatively, she took his arm and let him lead her to a corner coffee shop. He brought both steaming mugs to a small table where she draped her coat on the back of the chair.

"How long has it been?" he asked with a smile. "Twenty years?"

"Not _quite_ that long," she said with a smile of her own. "Seth is only just twenty-one and he was three when I met you."

"Seth?" he asked, confused. Who was Seth.

Her face fell. "I forgot. You never even met him. Edward... I... I don't even know where to begin."

He shook his head, urging her to be at ease. "Don't worry about that. I'm more interested in what you've been doing since you... since we parted ways." He was still hurt by her sudden departure from his life, but it seemed she was hurt almost as much. It made no sense to him, but he would do anything to spare her the pain.

Her smile was small, and she sipped her coffee to give herself a moment to answer. "I had a couple of children," she said.

He grinned. "Fancy that. I did, too. Three actually, all girls." He pulled his phone out, revealing the photo of him and Danika and Janelle throwing snowballs. "Lorna didn't want to play with us. Don't know why," he said to explain the lack of a third daughter. He flipped through menus until he had the photo of the three in front of a Christmas tree, a year old now.

Looking at the girls seemed to calm Bella and she pulled out pictures of her children as well. Angela and Ben made all manner of strange faces for the camera, making Bella and Edward both laugh. Seth appeared in the background of one. Edward kept his curiosity in tight rein, not wanting to push her.

"I'm actually out shopping for the girls today, you?"

"Visiting Rose," Bella said, stopping abruptly. "Leaving you was the worst thing I ever did, Edward."

He had longed to hear it, but would never ask her to repeat those words. "Hush. If not for that, where would Angela and Ben be?" Still, Bella's tears came and Edward wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her nearer. She smelled the same. Was she still using the same perfume. Maybe he could buy her some.

He shook his head at his folly. Just because he didn't have a wife any longer, didn't mean she didn't have a husband, or boyfriend, or whatever.

"It was. I did it for Seth. I _had _to get him back, Edward. I... I'm sorry I never told you."

Wiping her cheeks with both thumbs, he held her face to make her meet his gaze. "We can't go back, only forward."

The tears renewed and he frowned. What had he done wrong?

"B-but, your ring," she managed to stutter.

Damn it. He'd completely forgotten he still wore that. "No. I... It's easier. Lauren left me years ago, but I don't want anyone new, so I left the band on."

Bella nodded, seeming to understand.

"Did you marry?"

She shook her head. "I lost Jake before that. It was hard. He was almost -" She looked into her cup for a moment before continuing. "Almost as good to me as you. He... was killed."

"Oh, Bella." Edward moved to hug her again, but she shook her head.

"I'm dealing with that. It's not easy, but it's better. Angela and Ben help. I still have them." Her smile was small, but true.

Edward hurt for her. He wished he could take her pain. She didn't deserve any of this. She was such a vital, vibrant woman. Why did fate conspire against her? Why had she left him? No, he wouldn't ask that.

"So, you're visiting Rose. How long?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

"A week, over the holidays."

His smile broadened and his nerve grew. "Would you be willing to go to dinner with me, Bella? One night while you're here. I know I can't win you back that quickly or easily, but will you let me try?"

She didn't answer. She didn't blink. Was that a no? Had he pushed too far, too fast?

Tears welled in her eyes again. He shouldn't have done this. He pushed back his chair and rose, planning to leave her be.

"Yes," she whispered. "I... I would... Oh my God." It was all mumbled, all quiet and her hands went to her mouth.

Edward reached out to take them, stroking her fingers and crouching beside her. He was daring to hope. "Yes?"

"Yes, Edward. And it's me who has to win you back. I never deserved you, and I don't deserve a second chance."

Edward stared, dumbstruck. She didn't deserve... There was so much he still didn't understand, but he would learn. First though, he would do everything he could, in one night, in one week, to make her see that she deserved the very best he could give her. He would give it to her, happily, eagerly, anything to have her back.


	3. Big News! I'm Published!

Let me start by saying I'm only go to do this once. I promise.

Next, if you noticed a lot of chapter alerts with the same title, that's because they're all the same, skip/delete the others.

Finally, I wanted to give this big news to as many people as I could, which is the only reason I'm doing this (see first point)

Okay! The good news! I'm published!

That's right! If you've enjoyed my stories, which I bet you have as you've put me on alert, now is your chance to read a completely original story written by yours truly.

Cargon: Honour & Privilege is my first novel, but I already have two more complete manuscripts, so a second isn't far off. It is set on a future earth after a cataclysmic even has destroyed nearly all of our technology. It is the time of the second renaissance. The story revolves around Eve, a servant in a caste-style society who has the nerve and the guile to step out of her set role and take on a new and much loftier one.

Here's the back blurb:

* * *

Lives are won, lost and traded on the three-tiered Cargon boards.

Eve, a serving-girl, has watched the elite from the outside, seen the dramatic shifts based on the results of the Game. With a growing need to reach beyond her station, she can no longer accept her position on the edges.

Wagering her own life, she wins and emerges in a strange new world. New rules and old acquaintances tangle to make Eve's life less comfortable than her position would suggest.

One pawn moved, but an entire world shaken – Eve will change the world.

* * *

Copies are available at Amazon (kindle and paper versions) and signed copies, as well as information about up-coming book, blog posts from me, tour dates as I book them, are all be available on my website: Kimmydonn. com

I'm so excited about this, my first release. I've had a bit of a stumble out of the gate and that's gotten me down, but I'm hoping some of you will perk me back up, possibly with sales, but even with just reviews/PMs of congrats. I'll appreciate all of them.

I thought I'd finish by including an excerpt from the book. After demonstrating her wit to the High One, Eve was moved into classes with elite. She is still a servant, still apart from them, but in their realm. (Excuse the formatting, I pulled this from my final PDF copy ;)

* * *

Awaking early from the nightmare, she entered the classroom  
an hour before the elite students. Even so, the Ernst was there  
ahead of her. "If a rock is placed in the sea, does the rock become  
wet or does the sea become rocky?"

Eve smiled, but didn't raise her eyes. This was exactly the sort  
of question he would ask his class. "Both. The rock joins those on  
the bottom, making the sea rocky. As well, the rock, having space  
within, takes in water, becoming wet."

The Ernst smiled at her. "And, if the rock were not porous?"

"Then only the sea would become rocky, as the rock would  
retain no water upon removal. Nor, if the rock were the only one in  
the sea could the sea be said to be rocky either. Was this the only  
rock in the sea?" Only after she asked did she realize she was  
looking up at the Ernst.

His milky blue eyes shone. "You are a fine student. Take your  
place," he sighed. Eve heard the students approaching. Today, the  
Ernst quizzed his students on the nature of time and its flow. Was  
it even, like water poured from a pitcher, or variable like the wind?  
Eve imagined it was choppy like water in a stream. It generally  
flowed in one direction, but it was possible to be thrown back, with  
memory and dream, to an earlier time, only to be rushed forward  
again. She made plans to write this after class was complete.

Prince Louis came to her as he had so many times before. He  
was significantly older than his classmates, making Eve wonder  
why he was still here. His hand came to rest over her breasts,  
where she had pinned the bloom today.

"That bloom will never fade. I think his attention is not so  
constant. But mine is, as you can see." Eve set her teeth at that. She  
taunted him, but did not seek his affections. Prince Louis put his  
nose to her hair now, inhaling deeply. He sighed. "Would you taste  
as wonderful as you smell, I wonder?" His hand traced down her  
side, just off her skin. It brushed the fabric of her skirt, and she  
stepped to the side. It was not strictly permitted, but neither was  
his touch.

He sidestepped with her, grinning now. "Skittish. I like that.  
Where will you jump to next?" He moved to place his hand on her  
chest again, and she leaned away to her left, twisting from him.  
Her skirts brushed his legs. That wasn't permitted either. She  
backed away again.

He continued to pursue her as she backed herself into the  
corner. He put his hands to either side of her head, trapping her  
effectively. Finally, unable to find another response, she turned her  
eyes level to his. In them she held all of her hatred, her anger, his  
loss of honour. Would he continue to ignore the impropriety he  
was inflicting? Would he simply accept the slight she had  
delivered by staring him down?

He seemed to, showing no offence and instead dipping his  
nose to her bloom. He was nearly touching her breasts. She tried  
not to breathe while he inhaled deeply. "Smells wonderful, but I  
think that's not the bloom. I do wish our stations were not so  
distant." He pulled his arms away and turned from her.

It had been over a year since the first time he had approached  
her, but for the second time she fell to the floor in relief. She had  
nearly spat on him! He would have had her beaten severely for  
that. She sniffled, and only then realized tears streamed her face.  
She pulled a kerchief and wiped them away before rising. She took  
one more deep breath and strode to her lunch with what time  
remained.

* * *

If you'd like to read a larger sample, there are a few chapters available on Google Books. Thanks so much for reading!


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